Suffering & How to help

One cannot help a person who is suffering unless one knows suffering - and joy also.
. Hazrat Inyat Khan######


What is it about this world that guaranties us our share of suffering? Why do bad things happen to good people? Who came up with the concept of a dentist?

Instinctively, our hearts reach out...widen... Fill with empathy and compassion when a soul has the courage to express his/her genuine suffering. We feel their pain as if it were our own. And yet, we all know from lifetimes of experience, how totally frustrating it is to try to help someone who stubbornly (for whatever reason) holds on to their 'poor me' SUFFERING!!!!


The Buddah made a science out of the study of our own suffering. By studying our selves: our thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions, it is possible to discover the real causes of suffering and unhappiness. Know the real causes must then liberate us from the bio-mechnical choices and their consequences which plague us from birth. We can become literally free from habit and torpor.

So, how to be genuinely uplifting to another soul who is going through suffering. Here are of few Christian/Buddhist thoughts which have helped me in my own suffering and in reaching out to my brothers and sisters in the midst of their own suffering.

1. Be genuine... If they are bringing you down... Tell them!
If they are boring you with the same old stories of their demise, leave... Hang up... Ask for space.
Do not hide your own present moment suffering, neither dwell on it.

2. Be as present and receptive to their pain and suffering as is humanly possible for you in that moment.
Help them explore their creations by Your willingness to be fully present with them in their pain (if your willingness is genuine in that moment).

3. Set and maintain clear, compassionate boundaries and NEVER feel sorry for yours or another's suffering. Self pity is the glue that ensures continued failure.